Chapter 5 - Exposed And Used At My Initiation

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it felt like physical pain?

The final day arrives with a mixture of anticipation and dread. I check my phone the moment I wake.

There's nothing new. Just the photo I set as my lock screen. The one I've been staring at for thirty days straight, wondering how it would feel.

The chair.

It's a bizarre contraption of leather and metal, with cutouts and restraints that make its purpose impossible to miss. My stomach flutters every time I see it.

But this is the deal. The terms came through while I was still being driven back from my sensory deprivation test, and I read them in the dark of the back seat with my ears still ringing.

The typing bubble came up. I watched it pulse, three little dots, my whole future in them. Then it went away again and nothing arrived. Two blue ticks and a wall of silence, for a month.

Crazy, right? Nothing for a whole month. No sex and no self-service. And when they say they'll know, I believe them. This mysterious organisation seems to see everything I do. So that's it. I've been living the life of a nun.

Let me tell you, it's harder than it seems. By the halfway stage I was gazing at my hairbrush in a whole new way. Eish.

But now at last, the day is here.

By the middle of the morning I'm a screen-refreshing wreck, perched on the edge of the sofa, chewing my nails.