Chapter 44 - Chapter 43

There's a crack in Dr Mngadi's professional inscrutability when I arrive at his rooms. I was so disoriented after leaving Naledi that I got onto the M1 instead of driving the two streets to Anti Nyoni's cottage, and before I realised it I was on my way to Illovo with the aircon roaring and the sky stacking itself up for the afternoon storm. When I phoned him from the car and asked if we could talk, he'd had a cancellation and could squeeze me in. He sounded unbothered, but when I walk into his rooms, he watches me with a strange expression.

"Are you . . ." I tense, narrowing my eyes. "Hhayibo. Are you laughing at me?"

It's definitely humour in his eyes, however mild, and in the faint curve of his lips.

"Not really," he says. "Just pleased you're using therapy to help process life. Considering you came to our first session like it was detention, we should at least acknowledge how far we've come."

"Yeah, I suppose so." My smile fades as I remember what I need to discuss. "Thanks for seeing me on such short notice . . . again."

He nods towards the two leather recliners. I take one and he takes the other. "So what's going on?"

"Naledi thought she was pregnant." I rush to clarify. "She's not, but it made her realise she wants more than what our current arrangement offers."

"The one where you have sex without commitment or any pressure," he says. "Those were the terms, right?"

It sounds so sterile when he says it like that. I suppose that's essentially what I told him when we discussed my relationship, but I don't recognise it as what Naledi and I have had.