Chapter 34

RULE #33: THE TRUTH HURTS LIKE A BITCH.

Musa

I once loved that my desk faces hers. I could watch her profile as she worked, admiring the slope of her nose and the way she bit her lip while typing, or rested her head on her desk at the end of the day.

Now the desk is painfully empty.

And it's all my fault.

The day Bandi found us, he didn't even bother to stay and shout at me. We're just back to the silent treatment again, and I really wish he would let me have it while he was here. I'd rather my son shout at me than ignore me.

I've practically worn out my phone screen, messaging both of them. I try to spend most of my days at the club now, but even there, her memory haunts me. Lucky tells me not to give up, to give them both time, but I don't know how long I can do this.

I want them both, and maybe that's selfish and unrealistic, but I don't fucking care anymore.

Today I'm stuck at my desk. It's been two weeks since she left, and I have no plans to replace her anytime soon. Or ever. Lucky, Thuli, and Sifiso have been trying to cheer me up, and I hate being cheered up. Right now I want to wallow in my own pity, knowing that I may never see her or speak to her again.

And that's it for me. I don't want another sub or another girlfriend. Precious is about as replaceable as Bandi, which means not at all.

I find myself tracing the lines on my palm, remembering how she said I had a long heart line, how I'd have great love in my life.