Chapter 20

RULE #19: NOT ALL PUNISHMENTS ARE BAD.

Presh

I'm so fucked.

Musa is silent in the car next to me as we drive and I still can't really tell if he's angry at me for the way I treated Zodwa, or for flirting with Deshan, or for wearing the vibrator without his permission. Or all of the above.

The thing is… I don't quite know what's right or wrong anymore, and that doesn't seem fair. If this were a normal secretary job, a normal Dom/sub situation, or a normal romantic relationship, I would at least know what was expected of me. But we're not any of those things. We're a little of everything and it's confusing as hell.

And then there's the nagging fear that Musa was off doing God knows what with Zodwa in the club.

Would I be upset if I found out they'd had sex? Yes.

Do I have any right to be? No.

It occurs to me, as I play the possible scenarios over and over in my head, that it would actually bother me more if I found out he'd been treating her like a sub. Making her bow to him. Being sir to her. Praising her rather than sleeping with her. Don't get me wrong, they both physically hurt to think about, but the idea of her being his good girl makes me want to go ballistic. That can't be allowed. He would surely know how much that would destroy me, and there's no way he'd do it.

Right?

We pull up to a smart restaurant with valet parking. It's on a golf estate, and someone opens my door for me when Musa stops at the entrance. He gives his name at the hostess stand, and within minutes she's walking us to our table.