Chapter 50 - Chapter 50: The Long Drive Home

Three days of torture. Three days of unanswered calls and unanswered messages. Three days of wondering how I ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. Three days of asking myself why I can't trust her to love me the way she says she does. Three days of wishing I wasn't so messed up by my own history that I could take what she was offering me, because it's everything I need.

But my most constant thought over the last three days has been this one: how the hell am I going to get a club in the Cape to take me when I don't even have an agent?

I don't want to leave Joburg. I don't want to leave Sibisi and Naledi, or LJ and TJ. I'm two hours down the N3 from my father, and my sister is an hour and three-quarters in the air.

But I can't lose Vuyi. I might not understand my trust issues or my fear of being loved, but the one thing I know for certain is that I can't lose her.

I'm beyond desperate right now. I need to see her. I need to talk to her. I need to fix myself. I need to feel anything other than the giant aching hole in my chest that only she fills, and I don't know how to sort out a single part of it.