Chapter 43 - Chapter 43: Just The Cabin Crew

I should have booked off sick today. It wouldn't even have been a lie. Heartbreak has settled right into my body, and I think it might be the worst sickness of the lot.

I've been dumped before, sure, but this is different. Every relationship before this one was nothing next to what I had with him. I'm in some unexpected stage of grieving, trying to heal from losing somebody who is still alive. Somebody who still lives across the road from me. In a strange way I think it might hurt worse than losing somebody to death. Those losses don't choose to leave you.

But Zondi did, and now I have to grieve that he isn't in my life any more because he decided not to be.

I want to hate him. I want to despise every little thing about him, because hating somebody is so much easier than loving them when they don't love you back.

But I do love him, and that's the worst reminder of them all.

My heart has never hurt the way it's hurt these last few days. I can feel it through every nerve in my body. There isn't a thought in my head that isn't clouded with him. With us. It's as though my whole body can't accept that he isn't part of me any more. That he doesn't want me.

My bed has never felt so empty and my nights have never been so restless as they've been without Zondi and Rosie beside me. My food has never tasted so bland, and the days have never been so long. Time is supposed to heal everything, but it's moving in slow motion. How am I supposed to heal when minutes tick past like hours?