Chapter 50 - Chapter 49

# Chapter 49

AYANDA

After Vusi drove us back to my house, we fucked in the shower, and then he dried me off with a fluffy towel and laid down in bed with me, much to my surprise. We're on our sides, gazing at each other while Vusi's fingers dance over my arm in soothing strokes. I've never felt so relaxed and safe before, which is ironic, considering who's in bed with me. "How did you feel after you killed your ma?"

Vusi considers his answer, tracing swirling patterns on my skin. "I felt a lot of things, but also nothing."

"Nothing?"

He hums. "Relief that she couldn't hurt me anymore. Fear, because I was now alone. But the fear was mostly aimed at myself and my own violent tendencies, or it had been until that point. The voices took hold of me after that, and I didn't fight them."

"The voices?"

"I'm sick, Ayanda." He brings his hand up and slides a single finger down the bridge of my nose. "The voices quietened after every kill, and I experienced peace for a while before they started back up."

"When did the voices start?" I'm full of questions, so many questions. I could lie here all night, wrapped up in this man, and listen to him talk about himself.

"I'm not sure, exactly," he replies, bopping my nose before tracing the curve of my lips. "I think I was around ten."

"What did they say?"

"Is this going in your article?" His smile is playful. Mine is too.