Chapter 1 - Prologue

# Prologue
AYANDA

Woody cigar smoke, sour sweat, and beer surround me as my father's strong arms slide beneath me and tear me from my dreams. He lifts me from the bed, and I only just manage to reach for my teddy in time before he cradles me to his chest. I squeeze it to me, nose buried in its grubby neck.

Usually, Daddy takes me to his bedroom, but not tonight. Instead, he carries me towards the sound of masculine laughter and loud music in the living room.

I've always feared the men who come to our house on Wednesday evenings when Daddy puts me to bed. They're big, smelly, and very loud, reminding me of the scary monsters in the books Daddy reads me sometimes.

Clutching the teddy to my chest, I hide my face in Daddy's shirt, anchored to his chest by his big arms as we enter the living room.

I don't like how quiet it is tonight.

I don't like how I feel them watching me.

Daddy sits us down on a chair that creaks beneath his weight and strokes my hair away from my brow with his fingers that smell of tobacco. "Baby girl, I want you to meet my friends."

When I clutch my teddy tighter, holding my breath, he coaxes, "They're very excited to meet you finally."

I chance a peek, greeted by monster eyes.

Eyes that watch me through swirls of cigar smoke.

Eyes that make me want to run and hide.

Daddy points to the man beside us, who puffs on his cigar in response, yellow teeth coming into view when his lips pull back into a scary smile.

"Say molo to Michael, Ayanda."

Teddy held closely, I mumble into his soft fur, "Molo, Michael."

"It's nice to meet you, baby girl," he responds, smiling like the wolf in the story about three little pigs.

"And this," Daddy says, pointing to a tall and skinny man across the table, "is Malusi."

Stomach churning, I peer over at him, watching him shuffle cards. Unlike the other man, he chuckles quietly.

Before I can say molo, Daddy introduces the third man, David, who chucks the other man on the shoulder. "Hayi, don't be a dick."

"And there's Andile," Daddy says, shifting my attention to a bald man who enters the living room with Castle quarts. "These are Daddy's friends from school."

As Andile puts the quarts down, Daddy shifts on the chair, picking up the cards Malusi deals on the table. I glimpse a picture of a queen amongst the cards, with hearts in each corner. Daddy puts the cards face down on the table, next to the crumpled rand notes the men have thrown in, and asks, "Who's in?"

I shrink back, hiding behind my hair, wanting to jump off Daddy's lap and run to my room as the men level their dark eyes on me. But Daddy's arms band around me like the seatbelt in our bakkie or the snake I dreamed about that chased me down a gravel farm road. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't escape. In the dream, a plaas shed was up ahead with big wooden doors. I dashed inside and tried to close them, but the snake slithered quickly down the road. So, so fast. I wasn't strong enough to close the shed doors.

My daddy's arms feel like that snake, like it did when it squeezed me to death.

The man beside us with the wolfish smile throws his first card down and puffs on his cigar.

Flicking ash into an ashtray, he smiles. "Let's play some cards, baby girl."